My First Post

So today sucked.  I am feeling like shit emotionally.  I'm sick of the day after day same thing kids housework and thats my life.  My husband wants nothing to do with me and the boys are always with friends.  I hate housework it bores me and all I really want is to start over.  You see all these shows about housewives ya please like a true housewife has a life like that.  If I had that life man that would be great but instead I have a dirty house and 3 boys to clean up after o and don't forget the husband who never leaves his office to say more than 2 words to any of us except to yell about something.  Where is the excitement?  Ben (my husband) refuses to have sex with me ever and that makes my life officially sucky.  I want a man that wants me who wants to touch me and doesn't make me feel gross and horrible about myself all the time.  God it would be nice to leave everyone behind and start new again.  I need to find out who I am.  My life has no meaning beyond my kids and Ben.  I don't think anyone even knows me anymore. How I want to write books or be a lawyer still.  I will never realize my dreams now all I can say is that never have 3 kids before you turn 21 I really did think this is the life I always wanted and maybe it would be if I had a family who wanted me around for more than cleaning or cooking.  Maybe someday I will post a story I'm trying to write if I ever have the time to finish it